


Untitled Fics

by Ace_of_All_Trades



Series: Untitled Fics [1]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Abandonment Issues, Abusive Deceit Sanders, M/M, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-23
Updated: 2019-07-23
Packaged: 2020-07-11 18:57:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19932928
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ace_of_All_Trades/pseuds/Ace_of_All_Trades
Summary: One of these is from a writing prompt ask on Tumblr, the other is a vent fic. You'll never know which is which.





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virgil is used to his anxiety causing potential parents to give him up. And usually, all it takes is one panic attack.

Virgil had accepted at a young age that he’d never find a “forever home.” At the age of ten, and he had already gone through countless foster homes, just to be sent somewhere else when the parents decided they “couldn’t handle him.” He always tried to behave, just so the foster parents wouldn’t get rid of him, but then he’d get an anxiety attack, the parents would decide that they didn’t want to deal with his issues, and he’d be sent on down to the next foster home. 

Which is why when he was brought in by the couple Patton and Logan, he assumed it was going to be just like any other home. They’d take care of him for a while, then he’d have an anxiety attack and they would send him along to another home. So Virgil made sure to not get attached, no matter how open and friendly Patton was, or how calm and respectful Logan was, Virgil knew it was temporary, and he’d only miss it more if he let himself get close to them.

After all, it was only so long until the next anxiety attack.

It took longer than Virgil expected for the next attack, especially considering how closed off Virgil kept himself from these two surprisingly kind guardians, but, just as Virgil was expecting, another anxiety attack came. 

It was during school, which made matters worse for Virgil, since he had to be taken home. He really couldn’t help it. If he could stay and not have to bother his guardians, he would, but after a panic attack he was always shaking too much to get anything done in class anyway, and he never learned how to manage his anxiety.

This left Virgil sitting in the school’s front office, breath shaking as he made an attempt to collect himself for whichever parent would be picking him up, though any progress he made in this was immediately lost when Virgil saw Logan walk into the school, Virgil immediately assuming the expression on his face was anger or frustration.

Virgil kept his head down as Logan walked into the office, kneeling down in front of Virgil. “Are you going to be okay?” Logan asked. Virgil wasn’t sure he was okay, but he nodded anyway. Logan nodded back, taking Virgil’s hand as he stood. “Come on, let’s get you home.” Virgil was signed out of school, as he simply followed behind Logan silently. 

Virgil’s worry only rose on the drive home, Logan being completely silent the entire time. By the time they got home, Virgil was certain Logan was angry at him, so as soon as Virgil walked through the door and saw Patton waiting there for them, he ran towards him and wrapped his arms around the man’s waist, burying his head against his stomach. As Patton returned Virgil’s hug, Virgil heard Logan speaking quietly to Patton, probably telling him what happened.

Patton didn’t move until Virgil let go, at which time he leaned down, putting one hand on Virgil’s shoulder and running the other through his hair. “Why don’t you go settle down in your room while me and Logan talk, okay?” Patton said in a gentle voice, smiling sweetly at Virgil. Virgil nodded and quickly headed off to his room.

As soon as Virgil closed the door behind him, he curled up against the wall at the corner of his bed with his head hanging down in between his arms, hearing Logan and Patton faintly talking through the wall. Virgil was almost certain this was gonna be what led this couple to getting rid of him. Logan had to be angry at him, He had to come pick Virgil up from school early, and then he didn’t say a word the entire way home. He had to hate Virgil for that.

Virgil lifted his head up, tears forming in his eyes as he looked around the room. If they were going to get rid of him, then Virgil wanted to take in what they had given him at the time. 

After a while of Virgil’s steadily falling tears, there was a knock at his bedroom door. “Virgil?” He heard Patton’s voice. “Is it okay if we come in?” 

Virgil quickly wiped away the tears. “Y-yeah,” he said, curling back up. The door opened slowly, and Patton walked in, followed by Logan. Logan closed the door, while Patton sat down next to Virgil on his bed. “Hey kiddo,” Patton said quietly, wiping some tears from Virgil’s face that he apparently missed. “Logan said you had a panic attack today.”

Virgil nodded.

“Does that happen a lot?” Patton asked.

Virgil nodded again, burying his head against his legs as he attempted to cover up more of his crying. He felt arms wrapping around him, and looked up to see Patton holding Virgil against his side. 

“What’s the matter?” Patton asked softly. Virgil’s only response was leaning against Patton and crying more. Patton began gently petting Virgil’s hair. “It’s okay, just get it out of your system.” He began speaking in a comforting voice, just sitting there and holding Virgil until he was done crying.

Virgil looked up, wiping his eyes, and noticed Logan was also sitting down next to them. Virgil sniffled, looking over at Logan. “Are-” he breathed shakily. “Are you going to get rid of me because I made you mad?”

The expression on Logan’s face upon hearing that was complete shock. “Of course we’re not going to get rid of you. And what made you think you made me mad?”

Virgil looked down into his lap. “You had to take me out of school, and then you were really quiet coming home.”

Everything else was silent as Logan sighed. “Virgil,” Logan started, slowly reaching his arms over to Virgil, wrapping them around Virgil when Virgil leaned toward him to let him know he was allowed to, “the only reason I was quiet was because I was worried about you. As soon as I heard that you had a panic attack I wanted to make sure I could help you with it the best I could. I’m sorry that I failed to convey that.”

Virgil nodded feebly. “S-so you’re not going to get rid of me?”

“Of course not kiddo,” Patton said, running his fingers through Virgil’s hair. “You’re part of this family now, and family means noone gets left behind or forgotten.”

Logan nodded in agreement. “We’re here to look after you, no matter what that means.”

Virgil nodded again as he buried his head against Patton’s chest, more tears falling, although this time they were out of relief. This time, he actually found parents that wouldn’t abandon him, and he never wanted to let them go.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virgil gets panic attacks from hearing people argue because trauma. The Main Sides don't know this. Sad boi hours ensue.

Anxiety curled himself up on the couch as Deceit stood and argued with Apathy. The only thing keeping him from leaving or saying something or even just crying was the fear that doing so would redirect the anger at him. After several minutes of arguing, they both stormed off and went into their separate rooms. It was then that Anxiety let tears start falling down his face, still not moving from the couch, where Depression sat beside him. “Why can’t they just think about how we feel for once?” he asked Depression between the sobs.

“Anxiety,” Depression started, “I get that you’re new here, so let me give you some advice. Don’t think like that. Don’t think about how you feel. Deceit’s going to yell if he’s in a bad mood, it won’t even always be an argument. Just learn to deal with the yelling.”

“But how we feel matters too.”

“Don’t think like that,” Depression said sharply, his head quickly turning to face Anxiety. There was a panic so foreign to his gray eyes that Anxiety immediately went quiet, knowing Depression was serious about this. “That’s exactly the kind of thinking that’ll get you in trouble here. Just let Deceit yell, even if it’s at you, even if you didn’t do anything. If _he’s_ unhappy, we’ll _all_ be miserable. Do you understand?”

Anxiety nodded. Depression barely ever showed emotion - even when he was the one being yelled at, he would just stand there and take it - so now the panic and concern in Depression’s face made it clear how important this was. “Yes, I understand.”

~~~~~

Anxiety had left Deceit and The Others quite some time ago, and all the bright colors in this part of the Mindscape, how much more comfortable all of _everything_ was made him certain something would go wrong. Everything just seemed too good to be true. He thought Deceit would show up and take him back to the Other side of the Mindscape, or someone would kick him out and force him back. Everyone hated him enough, so that seemed realistic.

But no.

What went wrong was nothing that he was expecting.

Anxiety had been sitting near the couch, listening to a discussion the others had been having about future plans for Thomas when it happened.

“Well maybe if you would just get your head out of the clouds and listen to me you’d see why that’s completely unreasonable!” Logic’s - Logan’s - voice rang loudly, or at least seemed to for Anxiety. He jumped slightly, his breathing suddenly uneven. He pulled his hood up over his head to try to calm himself down. However, the voices beside him kept growing louder.

“Well maybe you could let Thomas take a few chances for once!” Creativity - Roman- yelled back, the third side of the discussion, Patton, having been forced out of the conversation.

“What you’re suggesting is too risky, Roman! Do you even realize how much he could lose with this?”

“But if it works out he’ll gain even more!”

_Why do they keep arguing?_ Anxiety asked himself. _Don’t they know how much easier this would be of they just let the other win the argument?_ Breathing was quickly becoming very difficult, as was thinking, with every word the two said.

“That’s completely unrealistic, Roman!”

“Well if it were your idea you wouldn’t be saying that!”

Anxiety released a loud sob before being able to cover his mouth to muffle his crying that he could no longer contain. As the room suddenly went quiet, Anxiety attempted to make as little noise as possible in order to keep the focus away from himself, but his stuttering, labored breathing gave him away.

In the corner of his eye, Anxiety saw Patton sit beside him, before turning his head down and squeezing his eyes shut. He just hoped whatever happened to him next, it would be quick.

“Kiddo, are you doing okay?” Anxiety opened his eyes at the surprisingly gentle words, turning back to look at Patton. He started opening his mouth to try to answer, but all that came out was a whimper, and then another loud sob. Anxiety closed his eyes as he wiped at the tears, and when he did so he felt a hand settle on his shoulder. He flinched away from it, dragging his whole body away from the others. They’d probably get mad at him for that, but right now he didn’t care. He just needed to calm down, slow his breathing.

After several surprisingly uninterrupted minutes of long breaths, Anxiety had his thoughts and breathing back under control. He looked over at the others by the couch, confused as to why they actually left him alone that long, and saw concerned looks on all of their faces.

“What happened there, kiddo?” Patton’s voice was calm, gentle, everything Anxiety wasn’t expecting.

“The yelling…” he muttered, the thought of it making his hair stand on end.

“Well why didn’t you say anything? We would’ve listened.” Patton turned and gave the other two a stern look, and Anxiety shook his head. “All that happens when you interrupt yelling is you start getting yelled at,” he explained.

Patton glanced back at him before slowly sliding himself forward. When Anxiety didn’t move, Patton closed the distance between them. Anxiety tensed up, bracing himself for a worst-case scenario, and then didn’t know how to respond when he felt Patton’s arms wrapped around him in a hug. “I’ll never get mad at you, especially if you’re panicking like that, okay?” Patton said quietly. Anxiety still didn’t know how he was supposed to respond to all of this. He was expecting to get yelled at, maybe slapped, but this, this was so, so

_comforting_.

Anxiety returned the hug, small tears coming to his eyes as he tightly hugged Patton, as though his life depended on it.

So, the place has it’s flaws. But it is still so much better than the alternative. 


End file.
